I am never bored

When I was a kid, the absolute dumbest thing you could say in front of my mom was, "I'm bored."

 

Anyone foolish enough to admit such a thing within earshot of my mother would find themselves assigned to folding heaps of mismatched socks, scooping up Great Dane turds in the backyard, or whispering to the leaves of her rubber plant while massaging each leaf with a cotton ball soaked in some mysterious concoction.

​

I am never bored. Which is why I now have a website.

​

(And I hate folding socks to this day.)